A long time ago

I used to write quite often here but recently i just haven't had the time nor energy to. The reason? It's summer and i'm enjoying myself...now if i had said that i would have been lying. The truth is that i'm just busy revising for some exams i failed earlier in the year. I totally deserve this so i won't complain.

While studying i've also been doing other stuff, socialising with friends not being one of them, but that's beside the point. Anyway, what have i been doing i hear you ask. Well, a number of things. First i have been listening to my brother's advice and about 2 weeks back i acquired (by means that are not of relevance here) the american tv show Lost . Anyone who's seen the show 24 and knows of it's addicitive potency should easily get an idea of what Lost is about. I'm not going to give you a synopsis here, just follow the link i provided for that, but i can honestly say that this show is the best thing i've seen since...since ever. 24 was a great show and is comparable to Lost but i the latter is in my opinion the better show. Not by far mind you. You'll just have to get hold of it and watch it to know what i'm talking about.
I even got my mum watching it and she's as addicted as i was. Unfortunately i finished watching it in a week or less so now im left with the withdrawal, and it's killing me! Luckily the second season starts airing in the US 21st September so the wait is not that long, thank god. What makes it such a good show? A great storyline, awesome characters and the layout of the episodes (mainly present time with flashbacks of each character's past leading up to the present, each episode deals with one or more characters) combined with great cinematography and a soundtrack perfectly tailored to fit the mood. Man, i sound like a movie critic or something. Bottomline: watch it :)

What else has been going on? Well i've been discovering some new music. Firstly, James Blunt. I heared one of his tunes on the radio driving back from the gym the other week and made a mental note of the name for later p2p checking. Didn't get around to it until a few days ago and was immediately mesmerised by the melodies and lyrics. This is totally up my street.
The other is a iranian-swedish girl (born of iranian parents, raised in sweden...and a bit in russia i think too) called Laleh. The site is both in english and swedish (i believe). She actually went to my highschool which is abit weird i think :) she was in the same year as my brother but in a different class. I also went to see her play here in the city last week and it was, to say the least, highly entertaining. Not just listening to her music but also the in between chitchat. She's quite goofy and crazy and as i'm often identified like that myself it's always nice to see a fellow goof make it :D I think you can listen to a few of her tunes (streamed) on her website, mostly notable is "Live Tomorrow".

Check it out!

Exam frenzy (again)

Now is the time to start thinking about exams again. For those of you who didn't know, i am one of the lucky people able to attend the resits in September for my two january exams. For this privilege i have had to cut my summer vacation short by about 2 months. I wouldn't change a thing. My life is perfect (sarcasm in all its glory)
I hear you ask why, well. I have in my life never failed an exam (except for that one physics exam in high school :D) and the ones i failed in january failed to light my arse on fire (much like the failed physics exam did). Usually what a failure manages to accomplish in me is to awaken this incredible passion for study and learning that unfortunately only lasts for a couple of days, one week tops, after which i return to normal. This time however i have acutally come to realise the seriousness of the consequences if i am to fail these exams. 1) I am kicked out 2) I am "allowed" to redo the year. Out of these two alternatives i naturally dread the former. The latter allowing me atleast a second (technically third) chance. Suffice it to say that i will be spending the next 7 weeks with my face buried within heaps and heaps of books about child development, intelligence, memory, visual perception, abnormal and other types of psychology :D wouldn't you just love being me right now??..huh??

Japanese is going good, my latent learning method has proven useful for this period of inactivity as i really haven't forgotten much since i was last in Japan. Listening to music and mailing friends in japan is keeping me updated and learning new words. I had planned to finish my textbook during the summer but due to recent events i don't know when i'll be able to. But i will ganbarimasuuuu (do my best) :D

Happenings of late

Story: there's a girl (girl A) living in our flat now who's from afghanistan. My dad picked up her sister (girl B) from the streets in gothenburg one night when he was working his taxi shift (she had just been smuggled to sweden and that's where the smuggler left here, seeing this poor girl my dad picked her up and brought her home to us!). she then lived with us for a while (this was about 2-3 yrs ago i think). Now she is married with some dude and lives in another city about 1h away from here.
Anyway, that's beside the point. Her sister (girl A) came from afghanistan a year or so ago and now lives with us as she helps my mum in the cafe and with other household stuff. She has an "arranged marriage" husband that lives in holland. She now sleeps in my old room and i sleep in the computer room (which is perfect if u think about it :D) So when i came home that night from the club, pissed off my face i went straight to bed, still drunk. I sleep and wake up around 7-8 am. That is the time when my mum and the girl are usually going downstairs to start opening the cafe. So i get up to get some water and go to the toilet, half-sleeping. I go out of the toilet and instead of going back to my room i for some reason or other go into the other room. I sit down on the bed. A few moments later when i turn around to lay on the bed im met by two eyes scared shitless. I hear a loud "GET OUT" and im on my way out...i realised what i had done and went back to my room to sleep. I met my mum on the way out who asked what had happened and i explained in my dazed state what had just transpired and her exact response was "oh...ok". I go back to bed. I wake up around 11 am again. I go downstairs to have some breakfast and as i get into to the cafe my mum tells me to apologize to the girl...im like what for? Oh for going into her room? I was like "ok...i suppose i should". So i did. To me and my family (and everyone else?) this was a minor incident, no biggie. But to this girl it was a huge deal. She thought (i kid you not!!!) i had come into the room to rape her. No joke! i was like..."what the fuck" :D...is this girl for real or what. Me?Rape someone? hehe...

This is funny to me.

exams

well then, here i am again...two out of three exams are finished. next one is tomorrow...need to revise more, the fact that i studied already in the beginning of the month for this particular exam, thinking it was the first of the three exams, put me in a position where i'm not too worried about failing. however i still think i have to go over the material once or twice more and i still haven't learned how to interpret ANOVA (ANalysis Of VAriance, for those interested) output. I have tomorrow (wednesday) and thursday until 2.30 pm to read up on it! :D should be ok

other news, going home soon. mixed feelings about that. will probably miss the boys but it will also be nice to get away from leicester which i by now have come to associate with worrying (deadlines, exams), worrying (money) and binge drinking, and then some fun (everything else). once back home i can kick back and do nothing for most of the days. catch up on my japanese which i haven't done in ages!! music and movies are keeping me afloat at the moment.

world of warcraft is addicitive as always, can't wait to get started again.

want to be able to display photos here again but i have no webspace, should sort out that out with our ISP at home.

also found out where i can get boxes (for moving things), apparently morrisons (local supermarket) have some they give out for free, common knowledge, new to me. though this is actually the first time i've actually needed boxes and have had to get them myself. they fall into the category of things that just are there when you need them, until you're out of your parents' :)

.e

Is it just me?

Or is Blogger abit slow on posting your latest posts? It seems my new posts don't appear until a few days after i actually wrote them. Minor annoyance however since i don't often post these days. Good news though is that i've been trying to better myself when it comes to that. Things have been quite hectic here however, alot to revise and not enough to do it in...started cramming today as i realised i would never be able to "properly" memorise all this. Will have to rely on my memory to get my out of this fix. I will start reading all the journals tomorrow and finsih by the following night. The day after the day after tomorrow (?) i will have to start revising for my second exam which is on the 23rd, which in turn leaves me with 3 days to study for the last exam.

My willpower finally buckled under the pressure and i ordered WoW on amazon today (a bargain, they sell it for £10 less than what i think is the RRP [£35]). I will probably receive it on wednesday or thursday since i'm having it sent by first class mail. For an extra £2 i don't think it's so bad. Will make my third excursin to the great outdoors tomorrow to pick up a book (probably just photocopy a few chapters) from the main library for my reading. If i can get over the burning eyes i might get some reading done now.

.e

The most inappropriate times

to get a new hyper-addictive game is just before big exams. I blame ben (my housemate) for buying the game in the first place and thus dragging me down with him. The game is World of Warcraft, one of the most entertaining role-playing games i've played in a while. The game is what is known as a MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) in which thousands upon thousands of people play warcraft (classic) with eachother doing various things, such as questiong and battling. The warcraft is not really like the previous warcraft games. Here you control one character which you take through numerous different places in search for, well...everything!
With every retail copy of the game you get a 10-day free guest pass which ben graciously gave me and thus for the past 10 ten i've been playing non-stop. And now i'm extremely eager to buy the game and it's taking every last drop of self-control to hold out until after exams. I just have to keep away from Amazon!
I also wish i had a slightly better computer to play it on. Playing it on my 12" Powerbook is not bad and considering the fact that i fell in love (ok maybe not fell in love, just a little crush :P) with the game using this computer i reckon it's not all that bad. Just imagine though, a massive 23" (grrr, firas!!) apple monitor backed by a g5 powermac. would worked wonders for those laggy raids that occur from time to time and reduce the game to a laggy mess of pixels! I try to stay away. Generally the computer performs surprisingly well under such stress and i'm glad, because it is one of the greatest games i have played to date.

On a more serious/academic note...my first exam is in 5 days and i have alot to study still. I really i hope i pass these exams. they are on "abnormal psychology and individual differences" and "Biological Psychology" as well as "practical psychology", though im not too worried about the latter. The abnormal is mostly about, u guessed it, abnormal behaviour...such as mood disorders, anxiety disorders as well as substance-related disorders. The problem is that there is so much information that i have to somehow or other cram in my poor mind. The exam format is as follows: two sections A and B, section A consists of two essay questions in which you have a choice of six different topics set by four lecturers. I've decided to concentrate my efforts on one of the questions only and on the second section of the exam (B). The B section consists of 50 multiple-choice questions based on the set reading material one was supposed to read during term. They are mostly journal articles and book chapters which u have to memorize. The B part is generally easier than the A section and therefore i'm assigning more time to the A section. The main problem with essay questions is that you have to know infinitely more than you have to know when doing a MCQ.

I just hope i 1) don't have to do more resits than the two i'm already doing 2) don't get kicked out!

.e

too late to go back

to the way it used to be, been thinking alot about the past lately and how weird it feels (in a good nostalgic kind of way) to walk around places where u spent alot of time as a kid. Wondering how it would be like if i went there now and what it would look like. Feels like the place i grew up in (a small town on the outskirts of Gothenburg) is frozen in time and everytime i go back, not much has changed. Only the people, and sometimes not even them.
You see friends you haven't spoken to or seen in ages and it all takes you back to 10 years ago when you used to play with them along the river, at their houses, doing what kids do. Would be unreal to be out there again! Don't know why i feel like this...maybe i'll go there for a quick visit in summer just to check things out. And it being summer all the emotions will probably be enhanced brining back memories from those times when the days seemed everlasting and summer would never end. Summer passes way too quickly nowadays. Just hit me that every generation since like ever has probably had this same thought, every generation feeling time passing slower, things being better and generally more trouble free back in the day. I suppose that is what they call the circle of life.

Now my cicadian rhythm tells me i should sleep and that i shall...lookign forward to a good day filled with lots of revision tomorrow (never thought i'd say that did you!) :D

.e

let shit happen

i wish i had something more interesting to talk about here but the fact is that my life seems to be at a standstill at the moment. nothing of any interest to anyone (including myself) has happened or will happen in the near future. concentrating on passing the exams in a few weeks and hopefully have a nice summer sprinkled with more studying for the resits in september. and also perhaps a short holiday in the south of france with sandra and her broher, and my brother ofcourse.
have been rethinking the whole architecture plan. will just let stuff happen from now on, on the academia/job front that is. until i graduate i won't make any plans for what i want to do afterwards. atleast not when it comes to career choices. if i find i really want to do someting related to further studies then i will otherwise i will assume that i will (somehow) spend a year away in Japan. been looking into the whole english teaching and it seems it would be the only thing that pays reasonobly well (about £12-15/h+). just getting a job and sponsor from abroad seems to be quite a difficult thing to do so i might have to go there on a tourist visa and get a job while i'm there. all these things are shit i busy myself with so i won't have to think about studying.
the boys and girls just came back from Life/Creation and making a fuss as usual so i will retreat for the night, in hopes of falling asleep rather quickly.
Hopefully i can start playing some World of Warcraft tomorrow aswell. ben bought it last week and it arrived today in the mail. speaking of mail, the textbook i bought the other day from amazon should be arriving any day now.

peace

Need some space

here we go again. felt i needed to change the template again. i don't know why i get these urges but i just do and i have actually learnt to live with them. as i have many other odd stuff i do, i've just stopped trying to find explanations for them. right now i'm giving a no-capitalisation approach to writing a try. wonder how annoying it is. i guess we will find out soon enough.
on a lighter note i have started revising, thank heavens. i think im starting to feel the pressure but it's still not apathy-bad yet. when that apathy hits man you're a goner. all you do is stress. i have another 17 days until my first exam and 20 til the second one and 23 days til the last one. after which i have one week off in which i have to pack the contents of my room (and believe me there is ALOT of content) into small boxes to be moved to my new student room at oxford court. that week is also there to allow me some time to gather all the things i need for the revision i need to do for my re-sits in september. if i do pass my re-sits i will have a whole month free to do whatever the f** i want. might catch up with my japanese. don't want to become fossilised! as i was saying...will hit the sack today for a hopefully good day at the books tomorrow. remind me to take food and drink with me. i forgot today and by the end of it i was really struggling to keep everything in. studying while having..umm...a lack of food is not a very bright idea.
sleep is also good, especially when you get it. until next time we meet!

Beginner's luck?

Just came back from GALA casino and i'm very happy...why? I won ofcourse, how much? £25, that's like 5h work and i'm quite happy about it. I played only the Blackjack tables, only place i feel i have some control over what the fuck is going on. Though much of it is luck, there's more skill involved in BJ than say roulette.

Sandra's brother, Thomas, is up in Leicester for a few days visiting his sis and he's staying at the house with everyone else it would seem :D Have arvin staying here, as well as sandra. This is probably the only time i have had any guests of my own since i moved in.

Been reconsidering a career in Psychology. Went to the careers advice office the other day and had a look at some folders and stuff on prospective...things one can do after graduating and nothing really appealed to me to be honest. Have been thinking of doing either a postgraduate in something or just another degree once finished. Architecture has always fascinated me, the designing and construction of buildings has always boggled my mind, and i think i would be good at it. It would however mean that i will have to study for another 3, probably 5-6 years and thus the problem of financing arises. The swedish student loans company only grants loans for 5 years. Seeing as I've already used up 4 of those 5 by the time I graduate means i only have one more year to spare. That and the fact that tuiton fees will be tripled when the time comes for me to start my second degree, who will pay i wonder. If i can get the support of my parents then I'm sorted but perhaps a very nice (:D) sibling will be so nice to his younger brother as to support him financially, i can only hope.
All this providing i even get into Architecture. But i do think i would like it, i think it will give me a chance to express my creative and artistic side as opposed to my weaker analytical one(?), can only hope. If i decide to do that i will have to start building a portfolio, what that is supposed to contain i'm not sure yet. But i have emailed some people and hopefully soon i will get some answers.

Until then,

People are back

Yesterday was quite an eventful night. It was Amar's 21st birthday and we (me, ben, firas, amar, becky, jess and some other people) went out on a pubcrawl that ended in Lloyd's. On the way i hooked up with this girl and ended up coming back to mine and spending the night. Not my brightest moment but been a long time so i think i needed it. But it really made me think about the whole thing and realised how much better it would be if the first thought in the morning wasn't figuring out how to get rid of her as quickly and sublty as possible. Maybe if you actually enjoyed the girls company that wouldn't occur to you. Don't know, just random thoughts this late at night (!).

Today my brother came back from his 7-week trek through south america. He's got a proper nice sun tan, though it does look more like accumalted dirt than sun burn, healthy looking in any case. His girlfriend Sandra also returned from France today, bringing her 18yr old brother Thomas with her. Seems like a decent guy and will probably be good fun to hang out with.

Still haven't finished things that i had promised myself to finish before the end of the weekend. And now there is alot more to do and less time to do it in. I have about 2 weeks til the exams start and loads to do. First things first though, get the stupid practical report done.

More on psychology, been thinking about doing a MSc in something for a while now. Searched the internet yesterday for an interesting postgraduate course to do and came up with a MSc in Cross-cultural Studies. This is something that (this early in my psychology career) intrigues me and sparks my interest enough to actually read stuff on my own about. The 1-yr postgrad course is at Brunel Uni in the vicinity of London. Still don't know if that good or not, had applied to go there for my whole degree course but didn't get accepted at first. But i don't really take that to heart, as i didn't really get in Leicester either but through an internal transfer i was able to get in. So it's either staying here another year and doing a Msc or going to Japan and working for a year or so and just cotching and enjoying myself! See what happens, if i can even get by second year, at this rate it looks like even that will be a challenge.

anyhow, time to hit the sack...can't keep my eyes open for much longer and i've got a lecture 10.30 tomorrow (from next week i'll have no lectures and have loads of time to study for the exams, yippie. Adios amigos!!!

Back in the U.K

Arrived just yesterday after a long (but surpisingly comfortable) 12h flight + 2-3h train journey, was nackered once i got back and just unpacked a few necessities and then hit the sack. Need to get back to my old routines, still have about 2 weeks left worth of gym time which ive already paid for and might aswell take advantage of. Aswell as another 9 days to write my practical. When i got back i was told some good news regarding our internet, it has (finally) been restored to its former glory and also been bumped up free of charge to 3mb. Sooo Fast ;)

I think i still might be on Japan time so i should take advantage of it and get as much done as possible before i collapse again, though i suspect the jetlag won't bother me for more than what has already passed. Got a few hours sleep on the plane (which was quite bumpy due to the fact that i was at the absolute back, two rows from the end), i did have two seats for myself though which was nice.

Need to get off my ass now and get something done! The feeling of action paralysis is coming back and i dont want to end up doing nothing all day. So until next time, adios amigos!

Ja-pain!

Maaaa...havent updated in ages. Mainly because im in Japan at the moment and am really busy enjoying myself. Im sitting in an all-night internet cafe and waiting for morning so i can take the bullet train to tokyo! Im hungry, sleepy and not doing anything about either. If i sleep i reckon i wont notice the hunger so i will do just that.

As you also may have noticed i have changed the look of the blog. I get sick of the same thing very fast! Anyhows, not looking forward to going back to england, AT ALL...have loads of work to do and revising for exams isnt something i want to do right now. Not after spending a whole month in this great and fun country! Definately coming back after my degree and just chilling out for a while!

I also dislike my phone, mainly because i have seen how much better japanese phones are and really want one of them. And the closest thing to a japanese mobile u can find in europe is the "new" sony ericsson with a 1.3 megapix camera! they all have it here...some even with 2.0 mp.

sleepy ...

Am off *to the promise land

Long time no blog, thought i'd to a quick one today just to get started again. Haven't been doing much lately aside from going to the gym everyday, working on my last piece of coursework and working at Subway earning money. Right now im waiting for sandra to come over and make me some crepes :9

thinking of changing the template back to the old one i used to have. Sitting here wasting time, bought Jack Johnson's new album the other day and its very good, as usual! :D Been listening to the old albums and they truly are relaxing.

What else, ...

not much for the time being, might be going down to St:Albans tomorrow instead of Saturday, watch some Babylon 5 and just have a merry ol time with mates, in waiting for sunday ;)

the internet

It's out again so i'm using some poor guy/girl's from across the street, just temporarily ofcourse :D I hate when this happens, the internet goes out and has to be reset from the source, i.e. the cable modem which is in dan's room. Don't want to wake the poor guy up so we have to wait until he's up and then the internet can come on again, tiresome eh.
So the medics' electives have started, they just had the biggest exams of their 4th year and now they're all scattering across the world for some well-earned vacation, 7 WEEK vacation. My brother is going off to Mexico and south america with Ronnie, Nori's off to Australia and japan, andy and tamir are going around the world. If i wasn't going to Japan soon i would be extremely jealous :D
Also found out about this site that do really funny smiley faces, quite complex ones aswell. They're well funny :D i hope they show up on blogger, since they use a different character set (japanese). I'll give it a try,

ヘ（＿ ＿ヘ）☆＼（＾∀＾*）なんでやねん！

寝る　（￣¬￣）ＺＺＺｚｚｚ・・・

♪♪(((*＾＾）八（＾＾ )))♪♪

no name

what's new...Counting the days till im sitting on that plane bound for Japan, only 18 days left and counting. Been having to think about money matters and how much i have to move around with. Will have to scrape the barrel for my days remaining here so i can live lavishly there but not too lavishly. Also found out today that i'm eligible for a Mastercard, don't know how much the credit is yet but i will be contacted and find out soon i believe. I don't think i will fall for the creditcard trap considering my attitude towards money and the complications surrounding it. Im not the person to spend money i don't have.

not much

Haven't been up to much lately, mostly failing my exams and thinking about stuff. Like, 'should study more', and i've actually made a promise to myself (and they are very few and far between, trust me...i dont usually commit myself to my own promises [regarding myself]). I will read atleast one article a day, starting today. Other news? In about 4 weeks i will be departing to Japan :D I'm excitement personified! i did some 'soul-searching' the other day (on the topic of "excitement") and i realised that i'm not easily excited, takes alot to get me REALLY hyped up. Even for this japan trip im not jumping up and down, runnin in circles etc, its kind of a mellow, laid-back excitement...

Have alot of food now thanks to my parents :D And i also have my favourite drink!! dhogh (don't know how u spell it), but its a carbonated yoghurt drink and its lovely, its imported to sweden from Iran (the make is "Irandad", which literally means "Iran gave"). Most western don't like it, understandably. It does smell like its gone off, but it tastes like heaven!

me out

Reading again

thank god im back to reading. I love reading, i had just forgotten how fun it can be if you have a really good book. The one i'm reading now is about the famous London diarist Samuel Pepys (pronounced Peeps) and his life. Well, its like a biography of him mostly, taking you through his diary and retelling some stuff from his diary but mostly it tells the story of the times in which it was written. What was going on in London and England at the time. And that's what interests me. Increases my admiration of London even more. Every time i go to London i feel so small walking around there, it has so much history and its all over the place. You can just imagine the bombs falling over london or how the royalists tried to take over the parliament over and over and the riots of the people every other day. The turbulent times seem always present in the texture of the city. If i was from london i would be very patriotic towards it. Much as i am towards Gothenburg, another town filled with alot of interesting history and old places.

I read a passage in the book yesterday night that quite shocked me, it showed the english's meddling attitude even back in the 1660's. Cromwell (leader of england at the time) had sent a fleet captained by Edward Montagu to aid the Swedes against the Danes (who were back by the Dutch, a long time enemy of the British) to ensure Baltic trade routes with England. It probably doesnt make sense to anyone else but it does to me and it is fascinating. I guess it's always been about protecting your own interests.

news have come through

First order of business, I did not receive the scholarship i was so convinced of getting. I wasn't very hopeful in the beginning but after the interview i felt i had the money in my hand already. They must've thought that either 1) the project was too much for a second year student 2) i was just funding my trip to japan. The second reason being quite true, but that's beside the point :P I'm not too torn up about it. I just realised i have to write pretty quickly because in exactly 6 minutes the internet goes down (don't ask, NTL) and i won't be able to post.

As i have mentioned before, my Superdrive needs fixing. Went to the Apple Store Genius Bar and they confirmed it. It will cost me about £230 to get it fixed and a 2-week separation from my beloved. Instead something might happen that will render this particular PB unusable, either due to theft or just pure folly and a new one will hopefully be put in its place. That's all in about 2 months time, in that time i hope Apple will bring out the long-awaited Mac Os X 10.4 Tiger.

Anyway, only two minutes left so i will wrap this up and say my goodnites!

Latest book shop

Went to Waterstone's yesterday to check the price of Lonely Planet's Guide to Japan (to compare with Amazon) and it was £5 more expensive but i bought it anyway...and three more books, on that '3 for 2' deal they always have going. I walked out of WS £35 poorer and about 2000+ words richer. I love buying books, as i do reading them but the fact that my stack of "unread" books is getting higher i deduce that i must like buying them more than i do reading them. Cursed WS!! Needed the Japan Guide though, mostly for planning the trip in April, but it's also fun to just read it through, about the history and such.

Going down to London on friday to pay a little visit to my friend Firas who has recently been blessed with a new PowerMac G5 with a 20" Cinema Display, the apple virus is spreading fast (all my housemates use iTunes as their main music player, they'll come around to the mac soon). Going to down to his place to help him familiarise himself with the mac and all the new features...though that doesn't really need any help, it'll all come to him in time. I'm still discovering things myself and i've had my PowerBook for a year and a bit now (purchased November '03).

Woke up not long ago and i have to eat something before i start my long long day of coding two MASSIVE questionnaires for yet another practical. I can't wait till third year when we don't have practicals, they're death.

x¶ Soon firas, i will be there! :D do not despair in this moment of truth ;)

japanese blog

Found this really cool place that does japanese blogs with alot cooler skins (well, different atleast) than blogger. It's got a spooky cemetery feel to it which i love. Very "nightmare before christmas"-ish indeed.

http://blog.drecom.jp/hemil/

Been ill for the past couple of days and the damn germs are hanging on for dear life it seems. Refuse to let me go, grrr...i hate being ill. Worked my first shift in a long time at Subway yesterday night, the new graveyard shifts on weekends, i got home at about half four. Dead beat, couldn't move a muscle this morning. That and a sore throat, and coughing ofcourse is not something you want a few days before a deadline.

Speaking of deadlines, i have one which i should be working on this very moment so i'll say my goodbyes here and now. Before i go, i have an interview for a travel scholarship to go to Japan to conduct a study on marriage attitudes. Interesting to me :D will provide me with £400. Which will go towards my ticket. Happy Times, hope i get it.

Off

Review of my trip to Japan '04

Got iWork the other day after witnessing the amazing powers of their latest word-processor "Pages". I saw it on the MacWorld Keynote presentation and i was hooked right away. Once i got it i started fiddling with it right away and i must say it is ALL THAT. I wish i had my own printer so i could print the stuff i create.

Anywho, i started fiddling with it, as i mentioned before, and slowly it turned into a review of my first solo trip to japan in the summer of 2004. Started adding pictures, a "Table of Contents" and halfway through this i started thinking about the actual trip and i realised i had better use the entries in my travel diary in the review, mostly because i don't remember much of the detail from my trip. Will have to read through the diary myself soon.

I recommend anyone travelling to keep a diary. They're so fun to read when you're back and especially after a couple of months when you've forgotten stuff. It's like reading someone else's journal. So now my journal is in a crappy RTF format, so hopefully soon it will be in a very stylish Pages format, are u excited?? Cuz i sure am.

One thing after the other

Just less than a week after i receive my new battery (for my PowerBook) my SuperDrive decides to malfunction. For what reason? I don't know...but what i do know is that it's going to cost me half a fortune to get it fixed. Now the big question is, how long can you go with a CD/DVD drive, i will attempt to answer that question. Not very long. Though longer than one would expect. It broke down today, after i wrote a CD....after which it decided it was going to spit out all CDs and DVDs i fed it. What a grumpy little prick! Just when things were starting to look brighter for me.

Will have to contact Subway for some regular shifts soon. My money pouch is getting too light and my expenses are creeping up on me, as well as my desires for saucy apple gadgets :P

I-P-O-D S-H-U-F-F-L-E

but i have decided to wait buying that till i'm in Japan because they're like £20 cheaper.

I have also looked mobiles in Japan. For starters...they are way better than ours. And i want one, unfortunately they use a different network, one we really should be using. Japan and South Korea share (use the same type, whichever i dont know) this type of network and nowhere else as far as i know. Which isn't very far really. A handy solution for temporary visitors like me (not really long-term but more than a few weeks) is the Rent-a-Phone service they have there. u pay around Y11,000 for one month for the phone and Y110 per minute for talk time, which is not that unreasonable. That's why i have to start working at subway again. The freedom your own mobile gives u in a foreign country is great. I can give out my number to girls i meet, which i couldn't really do before. Giving my friend's mobile number to a stranger isn't such a good friend thing to do, in my opinion. But what the heck, this way you have a, cool might i add, mobile for a month and it's probably gonna come in handy travelling around with my mum, for making reservations beforehand etc.

wow, 25 day gap

Haven't blogged in ages. One note on apologising to blogs. This is supposed to be more or less a journal/diary kind of thing. And though i know a few people who definately read it, me coming on here and apologising for not blogging would kinda be like a person apologising to his diary for not making an entry. Am i making sense? I'm hungover. I say this because i read/saw a comic in my Social Psychology book, in the part about Self-Esteem. Depicts this guy writing in his journal [kinda sad-looking], "Dear diary, sorry to bother you again...". Just cracked me up first time i saw it. But i suppose i do owe an apology, haven't blogged in quite a while and, i really should've.

Now, went to a house party last night which ended in the SU. Me, ben & myles finished a bottle of tequila and god knows how much vodka we drank. We got smashed anyways. After we left the house party, and my memories are quite hazy from then on. I can't remember what we did with myles, like where he went...i think he left after a while. OR im being incredibly stupid and totally blanking myles out of the picture here, but i'm quite sure me and ben went back on our own.
On the way back i cursed my luck with women, or should i say my skill women with women which for you who don't know me pretty much equals zero. Although that doesn't mean i havent had any, just that i'm usually not the instigator. Want to change that, anyway...ive talked about niches and my playing field before so i'm not gonna drag that whole discussion up again. Going to try and restart the blogging. Now i'm going apartment hunting! adios!

El Camino de Santiago

Been planning alot of things for this summer. One of the first things that was brought to my attention was to walk the famous pilgrimage from the south of France to the west coast of Spain, also known as "El Camino de Santiago", literally...the road/way of Santiago". It's a roughly 800km walk (or ride, some people use bikes or go on horseback), which takes about a month. My brother asked me to go with him and i agreed. What a challenge eh? A brazilian friend of ours walked half the route some time back and said that it was the best thing he ever did in his life, even though he would never do it again. So I really hope to do it, i know its going to be one hell of a tough walk and I'm not expecting it to be easy. But it would benefit me i think, physically and mentally (mostly physically though :P). Just a quick post! :D

?

For some reason i feel the need to write in this blog more often. Maybe it's because i have alot of free time and i don't know what to do with it :/ My bro's girlfriend arrived today, we went to a restaurant with the whole family. After which we went to visit a friend and her newborn baby. Very cute, so tiny, exactly 2 weeks and 5 days old. Don't think i've ever "met" such a young baby in my life, which must sounds very odd. At around 21 we went to see a friend's band play at this place called "pustervik", the band is quite good actually. Original if nothing else. Saw a old classmate but we left before i had the chance to say hey, hope to see her again. Probably won't happen considering last time i saw her was in summer. Well well, life goes on.

Came home and here i am, starting to feel guilty about eating so much :D About time eh...hehe. Will have to start going to the gym as soon as i get back.

Feel my japanese listening comprehension is improving. Been listening alot to radioshows lately and watching movies and i can almost follow the conversation bar the occasional vocab i dont know, in films the subtitles help but on the radioshows i have to either look the words up or just ignore them. This will all be put to the test in March,

I'm gonna bomb on my exams! shite...stupid motivational dysfunction!!!

Striking a balance

I'm trying to strike a fine balance between writing enough posts and not too many. Trying to preserve my "dark horse" status, as it was once called ;) Naah, frankly am not doing as much things i should be doing as i am doing. Hum, been keeping up with my asian films, watched atleast one every night. I also watched an extremely funny film yesterday called "Napoleon Dynamite" TWICE". First time on my own and the second time with my brother just like half an hour afterwards.

Time is 04:51 and i should be getting some sleep, seeing as i "have to be up not later than half 4 tomorrow"?! Lazy as i may be, i don't think i've ever slept until after 4pm, as far as i can remember anyway.

Night, night

Last week in Gothenburg

i took this picture last monday. It's sunday now and it looks nothing like this here. Instead we can revel in the frosty things that fall from the sky known also as rain (not hail mind you, just frickin freezing rain). It was more fun than it looked, threw my first proper snowball in years last sunday. Which was also the day i said goodbye to my friend leaving for japan.

I'm back in business baby...

Went out today, most unexpectedly...Came home from a xmas visit at my uncle's place and change into pj's, sit down and chat and do my routine of checking things on the computer. Friend of my brother calls up and says he's having a party. So me and Arvin take the car, me being the designated driver for the evening since he was last time. So no drinking for me tonight, how fun can it get really im thinking to myself. We finally show up at the guy's place and we meet up with alot of friends i haven't seen in quite awhile. Good to see them again actually. Also met a girl we've been friends with for like the past years. This perfect stereotype of a swedish girl, blond, tall (185cm), pretty as hell and start chatting away. Me just being me, and not a chance in the world i can get with this girl (really!). We move on to the club, nice chic place (BarSidan for those who know it). And the mood gets going, music drinks...I have a beer to get going. Chat with another girl that came with us, she seems nice. She in dublin at the moment working in a bar and over for the hols to visit home just like everyone else. Somehow i start talking to this girl again (the blonde) and me being me as always just start to goof about and stuff, no chance i can get her by trying to be "cool" and fail miserably. So i don't expect anything and put the Emil on her! And lo and behold, it bloody WORKS!!! How surprised am i, i make her laugh all nite and she's throwing hints at me all night *wink* *wink*- style. So she gonna be my date for the dinner party we're having new years eve at a friends place. Score! ;)

The emil has bounced back, in less time than expected. I think it's got to with that i've discovered my niche and am not trying to do what's not my thing anymore. I'm shit at picking up girls at clubs, so i dont. And i'm perfectly happy, though i realise i get looks in clubs and going up to them would probably be a fruitful endevour. Well, well...its 04:04 here and i should go to bed soon!

just so u guys know, I'M BACK! (if u ever noticed i was gone, was gone for only two months)

ps. I realised sth about my history of relationships and that they have never actually exceeded the two-week mark. True, technically i went out with maría for 2 months nearly, but in effect i only saw/was with her no more than two-weeks in total. How freaky is that?? trying not to think about it too much. Also, i texted a girl i had met in summer, not expecting a reply at all because of the nature of how i didnt hear from her. But i did get a reply, amazingly...not expecting much though. And with this new thing going on i dont have to pay it much mind. ds

Wireless everywhere i go...

I'm sitting down in our café now and I open up the Airport and what do i see. Two unsecured Wireless streaming internet to my little baby, this is great! Getting this Airport card was probably the best thing i bought after the actual mac. Wireless is the future my friends. Go Wi-fi and u will never go back!

Heading over to my uncle's house now to spend xmas with my cousins and the family. Long time ago i saw the whole family reunited (that is, the entire family residing in Sweden). Mostly at xmas time it happens, but it didn't last year. Now what is left is new year's and then the start of exams.

I'm not looking forward to the exams. Have started slowly and hopefully the pace will pick up soon. It has to. Finishing my breakfast now.

Oh my god....

the women, the girls...the beauty! I will live in Sweden for the rest of my life and i regret ever leaving it for Britain. I have just returned from a super party with extremely gorgeous women. I was standing on my own waiting for Arvin to get drinks and this group of girls come in and start dancind like 10m away from me. I see a gorgeous blond bareback top dancing in front of me and i think to myself, who will ever be so lucky as to be with her. She turns around and she is a beauty, reminds me of a girl i met in summer actually (kajsa for those who were there). I don't give more thought to her as i'm sure she will not be interested in a guy like me. To my astonishement though, her group of friends (and her ofcourse) dance close to us alot of the time and the girl gives me alot of very enticing looks. Am i seeing things or is this really happening??? Arvin says let's go find the girls (the girls we came with) and we start moving across the dancefloor, the girl looks and i look our eyes meet. Arvin notices and he stops me and says to dance right where we are. Amazing. I wish i had my camera with me!! :/ After that i didnt see her all night and here i am sitting blogging about it.

Arvin and i also saw many many Jaaani's (for the english, Jooooohnnies) and reveled in the fact that they're all gimps =) So many but so little time to make fun of them... hehe. We (my brother and I) also came to the conclusion that

I am not a meet-girl-at-club kind of guy. I suck at going up to girls at clubs (i.e. i dont do it) and rarely pull in clubs (if the girl doesn make the first move, which has happened a few times actually, believe it or not). But what i can do, is attract girls if i know them abit before or there is a situation in which they're there because they know someone that knows someone else that knows me. Such as a pre-party or such. Or even Uni. That seems to be my playing field and i should learn to take advantage of it. I haven't so far, but i will from now on.

Pretty girls of Sweden, I love youuuuuuu....( ok , im abit drunk, so what...i still love the pretty girls here, and i don't want to go back to stupid england). Only mingers and twats. Ok, only another year and a half then i'll be surrounded by pretty japanese girls and then a year later by pretty swedish girls ALL THE TIME.

feeling the effects of a break-up

for some reason unknown to me, as this is a new area for me (breakup), im feeling sad. I realise feeling sad after a breakup isnt very odd, but its just the timing. I wasn't really thinking about Maria, I just came back from a meeting with my friends, one of which is leaving for japan tomorrow, and just now when i came back home i was hit by this feeling of unexplicable sadness :/ I don't like it at all. And i don't know what to do to get over it...watching some Eddie Izzard to try to get better, but it doesnt seem to be working. Humm, i might post some more abit later. Writing about it seems to be working a bit.

GOING TO JAPAN IN SPRING...

Starting to look forward to going to japan again this spring. The ticket should be around £350 last time i checked and i think its very reasonable for travelling halfway around the world.

The preliminar plan is to stay in tokyo for a week and then take the bullet train to Osaka and stay there for a week aswell. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and this will be my second visit to Japan in less than 12 months. Just love that country, so much to see and the people are the nicest and most humble people on the planet. They will go miles out of their way to see you to your destination, it's crazy. And they'll do anything to practice their english, which can be a funny experience since you will get people starting conversations with you on the street. Won't happen as much in Tokyo as everybody seem so busy.

That's why i actually prefer Osaka, i hadn't been there for more than 10 minutes and this guy started talking to me. Turns out he's going to London to study for a few months. Very enjoyable, and extremely friendly people. The actual city has a funny smell about though, literally. The city smells. Apparently, Osaka was virtually bombed to bits during WWII so everything is very industrialised-ish. Very crammed and functional. The food and the attitude of the people more than make up for it though. So easy-going.

I can't wait to go back...

Welcome Firefox, adieu Safari...

I have made the switch from Safari to Firefox, it all started with a mention of it by Firas. Didn't really take much thought to it as i had Safari which was light years ahead of Internet Explorer in my opinion. I needed a replacement for IE for my mum's pc because frankly IE is lacking in many areas. So the first thing that hit me was Firefox. I installed it on her computer and it works perfectly, so smoothly that i even opted for it on my PB. So here i am, using Firefox for the mac. Beautiful. I don't really notice much difference as far as functions go, has a built-in popup blocker, a separate google search field. Has tabs, a quick bookmark field. Exactly like Safari. Somehow though it feels faster, and it works better with some sites that didn't like Safari.

the hardest things

I just finished writing one of the most difficult emails i've ever had to write. Today i made up with Maria. Tomorrow it will be over once again. I think it's for the best. As much as i wanted it to be true i think i was fooling myself, refusing to face the facts. Sooner or later it would become too much, wanting to spare heartache on both parts, i feel this was the best course of action. I've been trying to think logically for a long time, but it's not easy with eyes (and mind) clouded by such strong emotions. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. But i truly wish we will both still be able to keep eachother as really good friends after all this. I truly and honestly want to. She is the greatest girl i've ever been with...

trying to think of trivial things...

and therefore i am in writing this, this first entry, from the bog. It is nice! Happy time :P I'm doing all i can to take my mind off serious things, but they keep coming back. Should i contact her? I would have long cracked if it werent for my brother, and i think since i dont have any perspective on the matter for the moment, its for the best. I would have called her by now, but i have made a promise to my brother not to so i won't. Not until tomorrow...darn, why does it have to be like this!? Why did she go and do this...it only cause more shite for both of us, i guess she's realised what she had and is now missing it, but what about me? i knew what i had all along and now i don't have it because of her inexperience. Stupid things im saying eh, I will call her soon. Or atleast acknowledge her by unblocking her from my msn.

Something just hit me, i hope its not true...darn!

how annoying is this?!

i received a text mesaage and just as i went to check the display the phone died. I plugged it in to the power and started recharging. Turns out the message has somehow disappeared. How annoying is that?? anyone who knows me knows im an extremely curious person and not knowin who and what that text said is killing me :/ i suspect its from maria, even though i wouldn't have replied to it, i still want to know what it said, is that bad? humm...stupid battery!!

I'm back, taking it easy this time...

it's been a few hours since we broke up and ive had time to think. She kind of broke it off and i would be lying if i said i wasnt quite hurt by it. But I couldn't really do anything about it, she had thought about it for quite some time it seemed and reached a conclusion. I went out with arvin and had a beer and just chilled out. We went to Sticky, a old high school hang out and i got a bit nostalgic. Swedish guys must truly be the most frustrated guys in the world. After the conversation ended with maria earlier today i asked her not to contact me until i contacted her, just to have some time to think (and get over her, even though it didn't last for very long i developed some strong feelings for her). When arvin and I were out i got a call from her...and just now when i got back, literally about 5min ago i got a text message saying she has made the biggest mistake of her life and realised how much she loves me and cant be without me. Writing it like this might sound abit narcissistic of me but there is no other way of conveying her message.
What can i do...what indeed. I like her very much and i really dont mind the distance, this is the best thing that has happened to me for as long as i can remember. But i have to keep quiet for a while longer. I can't give in just yet. For my own sake, since she didn't really consider this when she said the things she did earlier today. Now she has had time to think about her actions, this probably sounds horrible but i think its the only way of making sure the relationship remains healthy in the future. I don't know how much sense i'm making right now...listening to some of hte music she sent me isnt helping me concentrate either :/ Relationships are difficult, I'm lost.

thats all folks...

its over :/ no more worrying, no more "serious" talks, no more frustration, no more maria...

change of blog look and more serious talk!

its weird this relationship i have with maria, weird in a strange worrying kind of way. Everything just went from bad to extremely bad to worse to bordeline breakup back to good. Mostly because of her mother. i thought id post something about it before i forget the details but im afraid they've already slipped my mind. Suffice it to say, i was very worried for a while and it looked very dim for our relationship. Having a distance between is enough, the last thing we needed was a mother to be against this. Luckily she's not gonna get in the way, which is all i want/need to know. So next time she's coming is 14th Jan, after my exams. So unitl then i have to study hardcore, and get some stuff done. Like the essay, again, not gonna do much to improve on it, maybe just change the introduction and reparagraph. The time is 04:18 and i should get some sleep...

jolly good temper

Everything is going beautifully with my life at the moment. Just one thing missing, work. I have to get started with the studying. Need to get stuff done. Need to print stuff since i forgot to bring other stuff from leicester, which is good actually since we probably would have missed the train if we had gone back from it.
Contemplating re-opening an old discussion with maría about her coming here for new years, ..oh here she is now...will post more later!

once more...

Had another post-meeting talk with maría about our little situation. I'm glad to say it ended on a good note, though it took some time and hesitation and times of both of us being quite hesitant of the whole thing. But i think we sorted out alot of our troubles and there shouldn't be anymore problems. I hear alot of differing opinions about my current relationship, alot of positive things and some negative, some pessimistic, some realistic and some optimistic. As i'm quite the optimist i tend to see things from an optimistic perspective most of the time. That applies to this as well. I think it will take alot of patience and quite some perserverense to keep this relationship afloat but im positive it will work out because im secure in the way i feel about her and the only thing that could set this shaking is our circumstances, not the way we feel about each other. Only time will tell what will become if this...i only wish we had more time with eachother. This could be something very good for both of us, and i think it's worth a shot in any case.

On a different note, went shopping today. Got new glasses, a new jacket and a sweater (that one also new :P). I needed a new jacket, been wearing a summer jacket for the last 2 years. Now (im afraid) its time to wear a winter jacket for awhile. I really like it though, so i will probably be wearing it as much as possible. It's a Levi and set me (well, my parents actually)about £100.

The battery for my PowerBook has gone from bad to worse, it seems i cant use it for more than 15-30m without running out, no matter what settings i apply. Might have to get a new battery very soon (no sooner than mid/late january though). Very bad timing since i just received the wireless access point, which was supposed to allow me to surf the net WITHOUT being bound to wires. Now im bound by wires carrying a different key necessesity for my precious PB. Curse u apple :P

It's too hot in here, won't fall asleep for awhile i think, i cant open the windows either. A sure way of catching a cold. Interchaning temperatures...id rather be too warm thank you very much. Better get to sleep...until next time!

arrived and happy (mostly)

sitting in the living room now with a glass of wine, half-watching a film with my dad and drinking some white wine. My dad just qouted something to me said in the film , "when my son was 6 he used to say 'my dad knows everything', when he was 12 he used to say 'my dad knows almost everything' and when he turned 16 he said 'my dad is an idiot' " lol or what ;) The film looks quite interesting but i have no idea what its about, all i know its got that kid from the terminator 2 in it and some other semi-famous people.
Considering making a little graphic for the title of the blog page. Seen it done on other blogs and it makes abit more personalised. See when i have time. Gotta go sort out the internet-sharing now,

sorry for the boring blog entry but i might be back later tonight with something else. will probably eat something before going to bed aswell, will gain alot of weight this holiday but its ok, im home :D Later boys and (maybe) girls

weekend of mixed emotion

this weekend has been great, this weekend is seriously good...i was totally smashed on friday, was telling each and every person i met on the street (apparently) to fuck off, and also (?) asking them if they knew the truth?! Im sitting now in the dark in the living room (thanks to firas) contemplating recent events. What is right for me? Will i miss out, will it change, will she change?? I dont know and it's killing me. The point of this blog has become more obvious as i go along. things very personal you don't want people to know, yet its public and you know they will read it. Somehow the dichotomy in that is less disturbing than it should be. I mean, im writing this to make myself feel better, i could as easily just save it on my harddrive and no one would ever know. I don't know what im talking about,

this weekend was great, had all my best friends here which really does make one feel better. What is there in life that is better and more rewarding and fulfilling than truly good friends, girls can be such a hassle, but when it works it perfect, the reality is more grim than to let one enjoy the good moments forever. How often does your friend make u feel as shit as ur girlfriend could in a second? Im not making sense, these are just residual emotions of a talk we've already had and seems to have ended on a good note....yea, right, im in here spilling my guts and she's sleeping in the next room. This will all be over in the morning and i will have forgotten all about it. No point crying over spilt milk, right

until next time dear friends,

finally finished and i dont care

if i get a shit mark, i have just waited so long for this day and now its finally here and soon it has passed. Soon it will be friday and we will all be celebrating my 21st, rat-faced. After handing in my practical (the event ive been waiting for) i might go to the lecture depending on the general consensus of my friends and after that go home and sleep for 4-5 hoursand then at 6 i have to go to subway to work...

blaa

21!

im 21 now, happy happy

Im still up?!

i just wrote a 1000 word email...!

here are some topic-neutral extracts:

"...Got back from work about half and hour ago, was meant to get off at 12.30 but we were only 2 ppl working so we cudnt get the placed cleaned and closed until now. Cheap manager wont let more than 2ppl work even on saturdays and we only get paid until 12.30, so i worked about 1.30hrs for NO pay!, stupid manager..."

"...Also, ive been told im not very good at paragraphing (essay feedback) so im tryingg to get some practice in. The thing is that u have to "glue" the paragraphs together, they need to have a red line running through them, cant be totally detached from each other. That is how u write a good essay (in psychology anyway). Ive turned into this essay police, whenever i see my friends write essays (and they're not psychologists) i comment on the structure ect, but then i stop myself because i know that in psychology they're SUPER strict with structure and order and stuff. Even the references have to PERFECT, and i mean, perfect, they'll mark u down if u have referenced wrong. And essays are the easy part, dont get me started on practicals (which are reports on research experiments, what was done, results, conlusions etc) might sound easy but is actually quite difficult, and those are the most important part of our course, every practical report count as about 12% towards our module mark. Crazy isnt it, the exams only count for 20% and the essay only 2%, and its only a pass/fail so u wont get marked on it..."

im 21 tomorrow!!! hurray for me, hipp hipp hurra! :P in no mood for deep shit, so im just chatting shite and superficial cold talk to myself. bla bla bla..

this side of the sun...

finally starting to do some work. Thought it would never happen! Its late again and these days im not so much of a nocturnal anymore. I get up on my own around 10..., shite...this is turning out to be a boring post so i'll just stop here, save us both the pain and suffering :P

be back later with a more interesting post,

The thing is...

My birthday is coming up...i was born on 6th Dec 1983, which means i will be 21 soon. Should i freak out or what? actually im quite happy with my current situation and not worried about anything really. I was more worried turning 20 than i am right now, which might seem odd. I think its mostly because things are flowing in the right direction at the moment and i dont have any real problems to worry about.

Improving on my japanese i feel, getting more speaking practice in, have recently been chatting with kaori in japanese and that it quite fun actually. Learning languages is so fun! I'm happy i know languages (more than 1)...makes learning more languages easier + u can communicate with people from different cultures etc. Picked up spanish recently as well, which would make that my 7th language...god! can i really handle that many? i'm hardly fluent in japanese yet and less than japanese i'm hardly capable in french (my 5th). The problem with japanese is just the kanji's, the major obstacle in learning to master the language fully...so much easier with european languages where u already know how to read. And that makes it somewhat easier, take my word for it.

First shift at Subway on saturday, thanks to subway i might be able to go to japan in the spring. I really hope i will be able to go, would be such a blast! It would be my second time in less than 12 months :D its just too cheap to miss out on, £350 for a return ticket? who can afford NOT to go...

probably squeeze a visit to maria in there somewhere aswell ;) thank someone for the lengthy holidays granted to students! that's all for now i think, nothing more to report. My eyes are starting to hurt abit so i'm calling in early tonight, in hopes of getting alot done tomorrow.

Good night!

the way of the sub

Hola!

I got the job at subway, yippie!! i'm working at subway, im working at subway...i hope that means free subs for the people, but im not sure. What i do know is that it means more (much needed) money pour yours sincerely. Im so short on cash im starting to worry again, i really needed this job. Start working 16h a week, which will bring in about £80/week, and ill probably get more shifts later on. That means more trips to spain and more things i can buy, and it may also mean i can go to japan in spring after all, i was afraid because of my lack of funds i wouldnt be able to but now there is, once again, light at the end of the tunnel...

praise for "subwway"!!!

やった！！

Emil screws up again...

I can't believe the stupid things i say and the situations that arise because of it...I might have caused such a situation just today with maria. And now i'm feeling shit :/ Sometimes i wonder if there's a limit to my stupidity, and it kills me not being able to get a reply to text messages i send her, my phone is being repaired so no one can get in touch with me. Merdre!

everything just starts out as a innocent comment on stuff that have been dwelling in the back of my mind, and they slowly evovle into bigger things until they explode into irreversible situations like these, why cant i just shut up?!

i'll have to talk with her again tomorrow! dont really want this to end because of my impatience and idiocy..

what's new? I dont know...u tell me!

so i havent done much lately!!ok??? there's not much to tell, ok??



I need to sleep, should stop updating my blog late at night, that would stop me from complaining all the time that i need sleep. I do need sleep but i also get more than enuff of it. Especially lately, dont even need a frickin alarm anymore, just wake up in time anyway.
Not much longer until maria comes here, only 21 days... :( which is quite alot but not quite as long as the next time ill see her after that, mid-february, hopefully ill be too busy to think too much of the time passing.
Finally got a call from Subway about an interview for the part-time job, would be great if i got the job, really need the money. At this specific point in time, earning £5/h sounds to me like earning a fortune/hour, which can only be a good thing. Working 12h a week would give me £60 (if my maths is right) and £60 is alot of money to me right now...haha, i didnt even think about it now. If i started working i could maybe go see maria before i leave for sweden. See what happens, or i could just buy some Eddie Izzard dvds with the money. He's hilarous.

Sleep...おやすみ！

The novel that got emil reading again...

I never thought i'd feel like reading every minute of the day again. I used to devour books, mostly fiction. Nowadays it feels like a waste of time, though i also used to frown upon those who said that. But a solution has presented itself, books such as the one im reading now, "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown, that as well as being a very intruiging novel is also full of interesting facts. A very good example, the extremely fascinating phenomen of the "Divine Proportion", explained in detail in the story itself. I look forward to reading more books like this. I also want to read some books on specific events in history, like the Iran-Iraq war, all i know is what i have been told by my parents which unfortunately does not provide an unbiased retelling of the events. Nevertheless, the reason it all started interests me, along with the history of the Kurds. For some reason i want to know more about my linage and the history of where i come. I just hope i can squeeze this into my already tight schedule.
In less than a month now i will have completed the 20th year of my life here in this place. I can only say that this year has been full of surprises, mostly good, and i hope the next year will be equally as rewarding. I have grown as a person as well i think, for better or worse :D
Wouldn't change anything about myself or my life. Maybe i could study abit more but thats an ongoing problem so it doesnt fit in with the current topic :p

photo from Santander...

Promised picture...




one of the many beaches in santander.

Back in Lesta...

Hello party people, Im back!!!! Spain was super duper. Im abit hyper low ish kinda high at the moment, went to bed at 23 last night and got up at 5 am to finish my essay so im on doing everything fast for some reason, it might be cuz im quite tired and want to get more tired so i can sleep. Though if i sleep now ill get up at about the same time i did today and that experience is not something i want to do again. 5 am is cold!! I'll post some pics on each new post even if it doesnt have anything to do with spain.

Still have a B&W i havent developed yet and there are about a dussin photos yet to take on the roll im on. I will probably put the digitals on a cd today and take it in tomorrow to develop along with the blacks. I'm abit restless now. The internet in the house is acting up again so im using "the wireless". thank god for whoever is streaming it!! thanks and sorry!

Arrived and happy as...

one can be really, having a great time so far. And we havent actually left the house yet to see the city. I think that says alot about this place, dont u? ;) The trip was not as good tho, first of all i missed my 21.15 train from leicester to london so i had to catch the next one which changed my route to a more unconvenient one, namely staying at liverpool street until they close (01) and hanging around london until they open again (04). There was this 24h cafe across the street so i went there and chilled for a while. Met some nice italian people (it was quite packed in the beginning so i had to share my table), and then tried to do some work but it just wasnt happening. Starting to feel it wasnt such a good idea to leave the essay for the trip. I did abit last night but nothing much. Also i met this really cool guy on the train. The reception was shite on our mobiles and we were both trying to talk so after a while we just gave it up...but it turns out that he´s an animation director who is quite distinguished in the industry. He´s done alot of work for Cartoon Network apparently, and he named "Dexters Laboratory", thats show is SO fun! I couldnt believe it :D I told him about my little knack for drawing and artsy stuff and that i tried to get into art colleges and stuff...gotta get something to eat, finish it this off soon!

Posting from hell

Okay, im afraid this "posting more" thing is not really working out, it just seems i have to much to do. And when i don't have anything to do i don't spend it writing here, which i should really. I've been freaking out about my essay all weekend and now im totally calm. Too calm, I could've gotten alot done today but ended up doing absolutely nothing. I'm still trying to get hold of the last reference. It feels like everything's resting on that one reference. All of the references seems to refer to that one, that's why it feels it's very important! ;)
Got my SLR back today, in anticipation of my Spain trip on friday. For better or worse, the film currently in the camera is a b&w one. Last time i went to develop BW rolls i ended up paying ALOT (think 300%+) more. I was totally surprised. I had to pay but thought perhaps i wouldnt take BW photos for awhile. Hopefully its not as expensive here in England. In the worst case scenario i'll just have to develop them myself in the lab. Time is something i don't have alot of though.

Sleeeepy....ZzzzZzzzz....

Mid-Term Holiday

I can't believe i haven't posted in more than 20 days. Feels good to write again. I have been very busy lately and technically i still am. Going off to the gym soon and then im headed to the library. Today, (much like yesterday), im gonna spend my day at the library trying to start my goddamn essay (about feminism in psychology to those who are interested).
All this stress! But i suppose i did bring it on myself, i'm going to Spain next friday which in effect shortens the essay deadline by 4 days. I can't believe im actually going to Spain, just like that. Never been before and now its going to be one of those spur of the moment visits (like the prague visit). Checked out some pictures of Santander (pronounced Sant-Ander, apparently the intonation changes after "sant", its hard to explain). The city looks beautiful...

What else...can't think of anything. Anything other than i have to get going.
(Wireless Access Point arrives today!!! Thanks Firas, ur a legend!)

Will post more often from now on...

Overload @ Uni

Im being flooded with work. Yesterday was quite shite. Went to the Dog and it wasnt very exciting. But what can you say, leicester is only fun on certain nights these days. Considering enrolling in a gym but to be honest i dont think i can afford it. Im already under budget but somehow eventhough i am, im not worrying about it. My next rent is due in Jan and i have like £1000 left. What the heck! I'll go there later today and see what they have to say. I hear it's only £20/month anyway.

Been buying alot of magazines lately. EDGE, EMPIRE and 3DWORLD to be precise. For those of you who dont know EDGE is a cross-platform game magazine with superslick design and is just cool to have :P Empire is one of the (if not THE) best film mags around. And 3Dworld is just great. I love anything 3d so i just had to. It's abit more expensive than the other ones but it has like 1 ad in the whole mag (which is what u pay for basically). Also bought "Eternal Sunshine" on DVD the other day. Such a great film. Everyone should watch it...

Random (stupid) qoute "Old people should be shot at birth" :P

Getting up early, can't sleep

Trying to get up early in the mornings. It's working out quite well except for the firtst time. That sucked big time. Bought "Eternal Sunshine" the other day. Such a good film. Love that film. Jim Carrey is a legend. His hair is straightened in that movie. When I first saw the movie at the cinema i was growing my hair (still am, kindof) and i saw his hair and said that i wanted to have hair like that. It's cool. But now i realise it's not his natural hair. Perming hair feels futile and unnecessary for some reason. Ive always had a problem with time-limits. Time-limits in games, on food (expiry dates in the likes of "consume within three days of opening"), deadlines, pretty much anything that makes you do something within a set time frame. Makes me anxious.
Alot of things happening in my life at the moment. Some stuff Im not ready to tell my friends. I don't think they take it. And frankly I don't think i would be able to handle their reaction either. This probably sounds more serious than it actually is. Things that happened in Prague have flown over to my current state of affairs. Im unsure of what to do. Don't know how to feel. Will have to wait and see. In two weeks. I'm in a peculiar mood at the moment.

Been away for awhile

Not really, just haven't had time to blog recently. Frankly Ive been here a couple of times but just havent been bothered to write anything. But now Im here and my fingers are on fire (well, they were about 10 minutes ago but i think i might have depleted all my energy writing an email to a certain someone ;). Anyhow, alot has happened in the past few days/weeks and i dont know where to start.
I went to Prague with Ronnie to visit my brother who is doing an medical exchange there. Prague is a extremely beautiful (& european) city. Very picturesque! Prague was a great getaway from the grey and dull england. And i realized when i was there that maybe (most likely) england isnt the place for me. I wish my course had an ERASMUS exchange program, but they don't so i have to spend the next two year here (actually its more like 1yr because it seems that i spend 6 months of the year in sweden and the rest here). Met a very nice girl when i was in Prague. She lives in Spain. Im hopeful and i'll keep you posted on any interesting events. Might well be visiting her there very soon indeed. Could use some nice warm weather now that the english "winter" is closing in on us. Meeting her in London on the 19th, luckily i got some super cheap bus tickets down. £4 return!! though i have to spend 4h alone before i can meet her and a few hours afterwards, which is pretty gay. But I'm sure i can find something fun to do. Its London after all. Need new shoes. Maybe ill do some shopping.
On another, more academic note, Uni has started and I'm pumped! I've actually gone to the first two lectures and I'm intending to go to the coming ones aswell (even though the next two ones are 8.30 ones). Mornings are cold, cold isnt really my cup of tea. Ever! So im not liking the recent atmospheric changes around this little island. No choice but to bite my (frostbitten) tongue and move on along.

Without The Net

Havent been able to post for a while since our internet hasnt been reconnected yet. Stupid Ntl. One good thing however is that we will be getting a 1.5meg connection for the same price of our old 1meg one. Yippie. That means i can DL stuff 50% faster, which is always good. This 1.5 is nothing compared to the speeds I will soon be getting back home in sweden. 8mb/s feast your eyes on that my friend. Recently alot of new broadband companies have been popping up in sweden providing alot faster connections usually for less money than the big companies in sweden, like Telia and BBB. Providing you live in a city (preferably a big one) u can get very fast speeds very cheap. Luckily i live very close to the centre of the second biggest city in sweden so we should be getting faster internet back home quite soon.

Anyhow, Ive already started planning my next trip to Japan. In time for the cherry blossoms to bloom i'll be going there end of march-beginning of april. Better start saving money. Up until now the "saving" hasnt gone well. Ive spent moeny like a madman. On cds, mags, takeout, digital photo developing etc. And soon will be spending more on alcohol. Damn parties! ;)

The big red monster

I've been eaten, chewed, digested and spit out more than once before. Now it's happened again. There's not much to say really. You just have to swallow hard and move on. Which ofcourse is the hard part. Ive kindof developed this shell around my heart which doesnt let anyone in until it's 100% sure it's not going to be hurt. That doesnt bode well for me because i know that all guys, unless ur brad pitt, get shot down a few times and thats just a part of the game. But still, my heart and I are two completely separate entities and we have different opinions on this subject. In the end, somehow and why, my heart always wins.

Im going to bed. These things usually pass overnight. A night were ur confidence sinks to horribly great depths and you just want to blackout for a couple of hours. I sleep it off. Hopefully in the morning i'll feel better. I let my guard down too soon and now i have to face the consequences. Returning to Leicester will hopefully bring routine back to my life and i can regain some of the lost confidence. I'm getting tired of fighting with my shitty confidence day in and day out. It seriously feels like im a borderline manic-depressive. Sometimes i can feel so alive, times when life seems great and at other times (most of the time really) i feel like im trapped between a rock and a hard place. I know all people have these ups and downs but to me it feels like im at the top of Mt. Everest one moment and down the deepest sea the other. Time...

new piece

this is a quickie I put together. Mind you, the artwork is not mine and was therefore used without permission. I saw it while browsing and thought that maybe something fun could be done with it. I'm not very inspired at the moment, that seems to be the reason why i cant seem to make anything interesting lately. I sit with a potential piece for hours and then end up deleting the whole thing. Such a waste of time...well well

I'm happy

Im happy that ive finally found some places to go in Gothenburg that are actually quite fun. Im not happy about the fact that all good things happen just as your about to leave the country. Ive had more fun these last 3 weeks than ive had all summer (excluding Japan ofcourse). Meeting new people, having friends of from England all adds up to the evergrowing list of pros of my lovely city! Here's a list that won't make sense to you if you've never been here.

Monday: Måndagsklubben
Tuesday: Ici
Wednesday: Nefertiti
Thursday: Pusterviksteatern
Friday: Practically anywhere (nef anyone?)
Saturday: Nef or Sticky Fingers ( i prefer nef)
Sunday: ok, so sundays are not that much fun...but i cant think of anyplace that is fun on sundays really

So the fact that im having fun being in Sweden should be clear by now. And I can also say that i can't remember having this much fun while i was actually living here. The fact that i spend 6 months of the year away from here kinda puts everything in perspective. England is good aswell but the fact that clubs all shut at 2 am seriously limits the fun u can have. I mean just the fact that by the time u get out of the club and its starting to get light outside is nothing u will ever experience in leicester (unless u're into raves). And for some reason i dont think ive ever been so glad having swedish as my native tongue as now. That said, Im not very excited about the fact that I'll be in Leicester around this time on tuesday. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends but everything falls into the everyday routine so fast, it's quite depressing actually! And let's not get started about the weather. It takes alot of willpower to get your ass up and do the simplest things.

1) Girls, selfish? 2) Japanese movies

1) In the club tonight and a girl comes up to me and asks me to buy her a drink. What do i do? I assess the situation and determine that she only wants the drink and doesnt give a fuck about me. I predict that she will get the drink chat for a 10 minutes or so and then excuse herself to go to the bathroom and then leg it. What happens? Just that...I realize it's folly on my side to go along with it. Why do i do it...last time a girl came up to me and asked for a drink i managed to pull her without buying her a drink. Never again will i buy a girl a drink if i can sense their true (evil) intentions. I have heard that this trick is used by many girls to get free drinks and it pisses me off. Especially if they just use the guys for that reason. I have been out the last few days and spent more money than i have the last 2 months. Gotta stop spending so much money, being social can be quite expensive you know! :D
Another observation i've made of female selfishness is on the road. If you're trying to change lanes and the car that u'r trying to cut in front of let's you pass you can be sure it's not a woman driving that car. Happened to me twice the last week and it pisses me off....come on, really, what is that all about. As soon as they see that u want to get in between they speed up and hug the car infront. This is a gigantic generalization but as far as i know/have seen it's true. And with the exception of my mum women arent very good drivers. I never really understood when men used to joke about womens driving. But i became very evident when i got my license and got some road experience. Don't get me wrong, there are some really crappy male drivers aswell. And these people are so scared of driving on the road that they're a hazard to themselves and other motorists. They shouldn't be allowed to drive.


2) If u get the chance watch the Dual project "fight to the death" films "2LDK" and "Aragami". Two really good films on the topic of "duel to the death". The movies were born out of a bet btw two well-respected japanese directors after a night of binge drinking. They're both quality movies and but i would have to say that "2LDK" is slightly better. You'll just have to watch and judge for yourself. The rules set out for the films were that 1) The were allowed a maximum of 3 characters 2) A small budget 3) 1 week to complete 4) A duel to the death. "2LDK" is about two models/actresses fighting it out and "Aragami" is a superb samurai face-off. Both very different movies but equally entertaining.

Mac-less

The power adapter for my powerbook has been acting up lately and I finally got my shit together and called Apple. The one-year warranty is still valid it seems. Anyway, cutting a long story short, my salvation is in the mail and should be here either tomorrow or the day after. Being without my computer has proved more difficult than i thought. Especially since i discovered "collaging" which is extremely satisfying and fun. But it feels like my whole life has come to a stop and i don't think i like this dependance. I haven't been totally without access which should be obvious as Im writing this. But it's on my mum's PC with the stupid and awkward keyboard. I want my PowerBook keyboard. This one is too big and its noisy as hell. The PowerBook keyboard is a work of art...just big/small enough, smooth, silent....i type alot faster on my mac than here. These bulky keyboards shud be made illegal.

As i might have mentioned before i have discovered how to play mp3-quality music on the site, I'm still considering whether i should or not. I don't have any interesting music on this computer so I'll definately wait until i get my mac up and running again.

For those of you who know me I am what you would call "Jack of all trades, master of none" which I've been trying to get out of for some time now. I want one hobby/thing i can concentrate on and do my best with. I just can't seem to make up my mind and now all these new things start popping up. Among others there is my drawing, miniature painting, photography, japanese, 3d and now lately translation and collage. I'm starting to feel that Im being spread too thin and not receiving enough (or any) rewards from any of the things i do. It's quite depressing actually. I'm usually good at fixing other people's problems but I'm completely hopeless when it comes to sorting out my own life...and i want to be a psychologist, if i continue like this i'll end up being one of those psychologist-turned-psycho we hear about all too often.

2nd draft of "Tokyo"

The blog became abit crowded with the two versions of "Tokyo" so I decided that I'd use the 2nd draft. I can't make any more for awhile now, mostly because i me power adapter doesnt work for my powerbook. Probably have to buy a new one (expensiiiive), bu ti dont have any choice. I also discovered how to add music (mp3 quality to ur webpage/blog), u just add a simple tag. u might have noticed already. This is just a test before i unleash my whole mp3 collection on your sorry asses, muahahaha
I added some random text at the bottom, think it fills it out abit better...

Abstract Schmabstract

Totally bored today just waiting to go to the party, hmm...sat down and played with some photos, thought i'd try doing one of those abstract collage pictures. This is how it turned out:

.

It was actually quite fun doing this piece, u just sit there and play with all the photos u have and hopefully something nice comes out of it. I kinda like it! ;)

Exercise & Stuff

My body is weird...I exercise like hell for the longest time, like go running three times a week for two weeks (just an example, ive been running longer ;), i dont see any changes until i stop running for a week! How do i know? I havent been able to run for a couple of days now due to a common cold ive had. And now i noticed that ive actually lost weight. Im on the 70 mark, and last time i was here i looked very sick. (bad eating habits + fervorant exercising). Now i dont look sick, ive gained muscle everywhere and i eat what i want to eat and drink beer and other spirits. But i go running! I think its the healthiest thing u can do, and its fun if u have music. U have to have music. In less than a year Ive broken 1 1/2 of earphones ( i think the new onew i bought in japan are starting to give in to all the stomping and throwing around) which has to be a record somewhere. I have to start taking better care of my things.
+ I just bought the second volume (and last) volume of my text book so i have loads of new grammar ahead of me. One trick with grammar i have found is that if i browse thru the book now and again and read about the grammar two-three lessons ahead i rememer it better when im actually at that lesson and its easier to understand. Mostly because i mightve heard it in one of the many J-dramas i watch (purely for its educational value ofcourse ;)). Japanese grammar must be one of the easiest in all linguistic history, whats all this fuss about japanese being difficult?? yes, its difficult but not more than any other language. Have U tried learning french??! Its bloody hard, that is...end of story! A week of all partying is coming up soon, have to get ready for that. Starts today actually, going to a friends "moving out" party. The guy is going to Poland to study medicine, good luck john! hope u make it! Another funny thing ive noticed talking to japanese about learning japanese (and this might be true for any language), they make it out like japanese is really difficult and only native japanese can speak it to its perfection. Which i think is true for other languages aswell. If u werent raised in sweden u might not be able to play with the language to the extent of natives. Which i have discovered to be very fun indeed. I love languages! The only thing about japanese is that the whole "respect" thing colors and forms the language into what it is. Layers upon layers of social standing and politeness towards ur peers and seniors, make it impossible to forget who and what you are. A love and hate relationship does grow out of liking japan. But i think understanding why it is so makes it easier to melt. And also, arent love and hate relationships the best and most fulfilling ones?

Finding Places

I have finally found some good places in gothenburg to frequent.

"Nefertiti":
which has actually been around for a while but i have never gone because of the expensive cover and the shitty DJ's they have (CD djs and just generally noy very good). And there are alot of fit girls at nef on wednesdays, I dont know about the other days cuz i went on a wednesday this week.

"Ici":
Also a very chilled out club, a tad small perhaps, with good DJ's (i think, i will have to go again and make a new judgement). And as always, pretty girls! They play swedish and foreign hiphop, RnB and other funky "black" music. Good music, a tad warm and chilled atmosphere makes this place the place to be on Tuesdays.

A good place to have a few drinks before going out is this new place on The avenue called "Diamond Dogs". They have a 3 for 1 on drinks and 2 for 1 on meals all day. 3 shots, 14kr each...thats VERY cheap in sweden! So, in summary, we have (sofar) Ici on Tuesdays, Nefertiti on wednesdays and for all day pre-drinking Diamond Dogs ( which has a age limit of 23).

I have a sore throat

AAAAaaaarghhhhh...I hate having a sore throat!! Why oh why do we get stupid sore throats (rhetorical Q). Guests arriving today, just want to die because of this stupid burn in my throat...DIE I SAY;DIE.
Drink alot of water they say, so I'm gonna do exactly what "they" say this time and maybe i'll get better faster. And have u ever noticed how you tend to swallow a million times more often when u have a sore throat? Weird isnt it...hmmm. Ur body's probably reminding u that u have a sore throat. stupid body.

Emil & Friends in Stockholm

Hello there folks,
Came back from the capital yesterday night after a very enerving car ride. Nightdriving is potentially crazy and extremely dangerous! The actual reason for going to Stockholm was to attend a wedding. Which was painfully boring, so arvin two german guys and I escaped into S-holm city to partiii...and we ended up in "The Spy Bar", which is one of the "in" clubs/bars in stockholm. Don't ask me how we got in, just speak english and you're in (hopefully). I didnt even have my ID on me...The club was ok, little older ppl there tho...I wud say the majority were f25+ and m25-27+ so there was not much going on in that section. But there were some pretty nice girls there. Was fun , all in all. Now I'm back, home sweet gothenburg ;) Actually stockholm wasnt much different from stockholm...it was like being in a part of Gothenburg uve never seen before.

About the age thingie, sometimes u get lucky, sometimes u dont...dress maturely and u might not even get carded. That's life here in sweden and it can be very frustrating!

20 and TOO young!!

Ok, tonight it happened again...i got turned away from a bar because of my age! ONLY in sweden will this happen...I can almost garranty (fuck the spelling, im tipsy) you that. If ur a girl, no probs, u can be 16 and still come in anywhere no matter what. But if ure so "unlucky" as to be a boy/man u can be denied entry even at the age of 25. This is usually what it looks like at ur average club/bar in sweden: f22/m25...in every club/bar u go to, there must be a logic to it. Girls attract boys, but we dont want boys that dont spend money so fuck the young ones, we want the older money-making ones. So sorry! Whats that about?? Seriously, i'm seriously developing a love-hate relationship with this country! why must it be this way...i can only wonder

I, Robot (and me)

Saw "I, Robot" yesterday. Okay flick...I'll watch pretty much anything if it has to do with science fiction so I might not be the most unbiased person. But this whole robot-human concept intrigues me and to be honest scares me abit. I watched "The Second Renaissance", the animatrix short, a while back and that was probably one of the few movies ive watched in total silence all my life. It was a movie, but watching it you got this feeling that that could very well come become reality. I think the most scary thing about robots is that they dont have any emotions. I'm not gonna evolve on that because my own thoughts are so scattered I'm afraid I'll lose my point again ;) I might pick up and read some of Isaac Asimov's shorts on the subject.

Nothing to Blog about...

The reason, i have discovered (and been told numerous people), for me being a lousy storyteller is one of two, 1) If its a funny story then i will get fits of laughter and u will have to patch up my broken sentences yourself to hopefully make a comprehensable (input language) sentence. 2) I get so caught in the actual storytelling that i lose the point of the story, and sometimes (most times) my storys lack a point/punchline, hence they tend to be not so good. But i have come to think about this, what is a "point"...maybe that's my "thing". I don't do points, or my points are so deeply buried in my story that i myself lose track of them by the end of it. Okay, I've lost myself now...let me rephrase!

I sometimes tell people stuff randomly, stuff that I'm thinking about...These "random" thoughts are not random to me because my thoughts are, at any given time, racing. I can't hold a topic for a long period of time. Say we're talking about bows & arrows for some reason and the conversation stops. While other peoples silences may mean that they are contemplating the subject, my mind is already contemplating the next subject or something that i find odd. Ok, still not clear eh? neither am i...

here's a common conversation with me:

Other: the party last nite was really good guys, we should do it again soon...
Emil: have u ever seen pigeons babies? They're never around are they...
Others: totally confused, emil ur the most random person in the world

It may seem like randomness to outsiders but to me its just thinking. You could say i have a short thinking span, or sth like that! And that doesnt equal "stupid" :P

Kanin fest etc...

Been out everyday the last three days after a huge party gap. The one last nite was by far the best one...I can't even remember the other ones. It was THAT good! Drunk, truckloads of pretty girls and good music together with cool people...supergood! I was to drunk to know where the hell my camera was, apparantly my brother was walking around with it taking pics with random fit girls :D Hope this wasnt the last one...

Tokyo Style in Gothenburg

Today marks the start of "Tokyo Style in Gothenburg", a kind of mini-festival celebrating the urbanism of tokyo and all the strange things going on there. Should be very exciting. It's a "mini" festival because there's a bigger festival going on in Gothenburg at the moment (which isnt very exciting) called "Göteborgskalaset", i.e. The Gothenburg Festival. Loads of people on the streets doing not much except drinking beer and chatting. The adults sit in pubs/bars and drink and the youth sit outside pretty much everywhere and drink. Same thing every year, gets old fast! But this year is different ;) If you're interested they've put up a blog (several actually, both in swedish and english, blogging from Gbg and Tokyo).

Tokyo style i Göteborg
Click the "BLOG" link at the bottom or navigate using the scrollbars

It starts in less than 3hrs. Im heading out there with two friends to check it out, one fellow japanophile and a another who's heard good things about it from other friends (from Stockholm, where the festival started out). Goes on for three days (11-13th aug) and there's loads to do and see, they show anime and japanese movies at a cinema nearby aswell. I've already seen most of the films they're showing so maybe i'll just hang out at the festival. Anyway, you can read more on the site...



I need to rest for awhile,

"Who needs Hell when pain like this exists on earth..."

Comics, comics, comics...i have recently realized I'm a shit story-teller, written and spoken. I couldn't tell a story to save my life, I'm that crap! And don't ask me to retell a joke, I will rip it apart and u will never enjoy that joke for the rest of your life. I wonder what brought my lack of story-telling on, im pretty sure its genetic but my parents both have a nack for telling good storys. How did i end up with this complete and utter lack of writing ability?? Tell me someone...

What does this have to do with comics? Nothing i guess...well, i've been reading some comics recently and it just got me thinking. Writing talent wanted, reward given! (some more drawing skill wouldn't hurt either)

"I have become death..."

Was out shopping today. As i was waiting for my jeans to be sown up i went to a bookstore and flipped through some photography books. Came across a piece about atomic bomb tests in Nevada, US. If my horrible memory serves me right, the picture was of the first bomb test after which the creator had said, and this really moved me when i read it:

"I have become death, the destroyer of worlds".

I believe it was a qoute from a text on Indian mythology or Hinduism (or something of the kind).

Zero Effect

Just saw this truly amazing film on TV. "Zero Effect", starring Bill Pullman and Ben Stiller (one of my favourite actors). My words do not do the film justice. Here are a few, which i found, interesting qoutes from the movie:

"There are no good guys and there are no bad guys....there're just guys!" - Arlo (Stiller)

"What doesn't kill you, defines you" - probably said before this movie so I'm not gonna bother writing down the girls name that said it. I dont even know so it's for the best anyway.

"A person can't escape his nature" - Daryl Zero (Pullman)



Google it!