Ambivalence

I should post more often, i procrastinate way too much with it. I start forgetting and all you get is a half-arsed attempt at retelling the events that unfolded. Umm, what has happened lately i wonder...
Life is quite good right now, social life is at it's peak and so is everything academia. The downside (if you can call it that, im positively inclined) is that from one day to the next i'm either drunk or stoned which has made me feel that I haven't been clear-headed in almost 2 weeks. And having this much alcohol around just looming there in the corner of my room makes me feel rather uncomfortable, is this how alcoholism starts i wonder? It's there you know, could have a glass anytime...I've been able to resist the temptation sofar!

Things have taken off with girl A and as always im at crossroads, never saw myself as the afraid-of-commitment type but everytime i get close to someone i hit this massive wall. Should I continue, should i not?? Pro's and Con's are considered and usually it takes too long to make a decision, meaning that eventually either one has to be taken for me (!) or I'll just go with the flow. Sometimes I have also been forced (more or less) or coerced into making one.
I think really it all comes down to which side of your conscience you pick, the red devil emil or the little angel. There is no middle ground, or should i say the middle ground is my head and if i don't make up my mind i'll start thinking too much and eventually it will just be a gooey mess of bad thoughts, panic, inertia, apathy, undecisiveness and the thing guys love above all else ofc!

My options as i see them at the moment:
1. Just realised i probably should'nt state my options in such a public place!

The underlying problem is that i don't want to be associated with any of person at the moment, news travels fast in the exchange student community so you might end up burning bridges left, right and center without even realising it. And that is not something i want to do. It's nice though, having some company now and then never hurt. You kinda get the best of both worlds. Milking the cow but occasionally also spending some time with it...not sure if that makes sense...